Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Coors Light: Color Changing Label Has Viagra Like Effects?

I'm sorry I cannot find video of this ad. It plays frequently during sporting events and if you've seen it, you will know what I'm talking about. If you know where I can find it, lemme know and I'll put it up.

Seek immediate medical attention if your beer label stays blue for over 4 hours.

The Ad:
A guy is in the fridge, looking at his beer. His wife is in the closet or something, apparently peeing. They are both talking about something turning blue. The man, his beer, the new Coors Light bottle, with a color changing label. The mountains are white, until the proper temperature, when it turns blue. The woman, peeing in the closet, is apparently looking at a pregnancy test. Or perhaps a ketosis testing strip. Either way. She's excited. They share dialog. And eventually, she moves out of their water closet and closes on the guy who might be the father of her baby, unless it was that pool guy with the abs after a party with too many bottles of Coors.

At any rate, at the moment of truth, she reveals the little plus sign and he reveals that his thin alcoholic swill has fallen below room temperature. She gets mad, and he tries to cover, by saying it's blue like her eyes. She angrily reminds him that her eyes are green.

So, you might be wondering, where does Viagra enter the picture? Perhaps the beer addled buffoon required some to defeat the inevitable effects of continued large beer quaffing? But no, I'm talking about that other effect of Viagra. The Blue-Green color blindness. But, this instance is stronger than just the regular BG color blindness associated with boner pills. This is so strong, it's had an effect on his color memory. So, either he's been hard drinking and Viagra popping for as long as they've been together (there's no indication that he's been there long term. How could she have actually committed to a guy who is more interested in his beer than her urine?), or his new beer label contains a strong dose of a prescription only erectile drug.

The really sad thing is, I'm not sure who to refer you to if you experience blue-green color blindness due to exposure to the newest Coors Light label. If it's dosing people with stiffy stims, then you'd call the FDA. But, Coors Light is regulated by the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. You make the call. But only if you've had a Coors Light in your hand (and not several in your belly) and you cannot remember if the sky is blue or green (it's blue, unless you're expecting a tornado, in which case, it's the other way around).


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