Friday, February 29, 2008

Axe Leaves a Crusty Residue?

So, you have a date coming up. You are a little dirty and you don't have time to shower. So, you spray Axe deodorant body spray (a product that I like and find fascinating) all over. Then, after a brief look in the mirror, you notice, you're kind of crusty. So, you bang your head against the wall in frustration and you crack this disgusting shell of crud that was left on you after your overdose of Axe. But wait. You slam a door into your chest to break off the rest of that filthy Axe. It crumbles and you feel great and ready for your date.

I dunno about you, but my deodorant body spray shouldn't leave a crusty residue. Call me nuts.

Friday, February 8, 2008

I guess Fiber Optic Internet service will lower your cholesterol too: Time Warner Cable

Okay, here's the ad:

I guess FIOS is Magic!

You have to love competition. It brings out the nastiness. Here's Verizon, with their FIOS service, which I know not much about, other than it's faster than DSL, uses fiber optics, comes from a phone company and apparently costs ~$100/month. I guess they are cutting into Time Warner's market share, so, the ad above.

What's funny is the suggestion that Time Warner cable comes in a box of fiber. And it will be the cure for constipation. Me thinks we're talking about different types of fiber, but if Time Warner's fiber will unblock you, maybe it will lower your cholesterol, too.4 points in 7 weeks or some such number. Perhaps, the TW and Verizon's real competition is none other than...

Warning: May Cause Abdominal Distention

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Something Different: A Really Beautiful Commercial from BMW

I found this commercial on the Ted Blog. It features one of their members. I think it's a slightly different approach to advertising in the current market. There isn't a single car in the ad. There's nothing that looks like a car. There's no discussion of cars. It's a discussion about something completely different, the work of an artist/engineer. Being a TED member, he's bound to pretty sharp.

What makes it good?
  1. The work of the artist and the photography of same. His creations are really striking.
  2. The stripped down nature of the discussion. It's about his work, but it's also about BMW as a brand. The logo at the end, not being tacky, brings it all back to the brand.
At any rate, I liked it a lot. It'd be nice to see more of this between beer Neanderthals.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Superbowl Extravaganza: Tom Petty Breaks Hearts, or something

First of, let me say it was nice of Tom Petty to shave for the event. I guess he's auditioning for the role of Cousin It for the next go round of The Addams Family.

Something interesting: If you want to see Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers play in the Washington DC Area, you're gonna have to pop $45 + service fees to sit on the lawn. I dunno about you, but that seems steep. Very steep. I think they'll come down.

I especially like that fans at home can play Guitar Hero along with the Heartbreakers.

Tom's voice sounds strange. Not bad, but maybe too melodic for him.

Where's the FCC? Did he just say, "I'm free... freeballing?" If Janet Jackson having her nips on display is fine worthy, I'm sure the Tom Petty Underwear Situation merits at least a stern talking to.

Tom Petty (with and without the Heartbreakers) has 26 highlight songs, according to the geniuses at Since we've all heart Free Fallin 8 bazillion times by now, and it's not really that great a song, couldn't we have traded it for Refugee, Breakdown, You Got Lucky, Don't Come Around Here, or Stop Draggin My Heart Around? Would anyone mind.

I hope he gets off after Running Down a Dream. Best song he did, he should leave on a high note (unless he's gonna do Refugee).Do you need a clearer picture? I don't.

Last thought: Considering the amount of TV I consume, you'd think I'd own a very large HDTV. You'd be very wrong. If you're curious to know why, aside from a general reluctance to have to bring it in past the wife who would give me that look for a microsecond, and not have a problem with it, but I still feel guilty buying stuff, it's because of events like the Superbowl Halftime, the Local News and CSPAN. There are some things that a blurry picture is better for. Tom & The Heartbreakers and nearly everyone in Congress, better in blur.

One more thought: Who knew they were still making new King of the Hills?

Superbowl Extravaganza: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman Tell You What You Already Knew

They come back from a commercial with one of those goofy video edits to twenty year old music that are supposed to get you hyped about the game. Since 95% of all sporting events are generally 95% boring, I see the purpose. And I like sports. Just not pro-football so much.
Everyone Does It Better? Say It Ain't So.

Any rate, Joe Buck tells us that no one does it better than they're guys in the truck. He then says,
We may not be the best announcers in the world, but the guys in the truck, they're the best.
We knew Joe Buck had a thing for the obvious, but this is both obvious and honest. I dunno that Troy Aikman is as bad as Tim McCarver, but only because I don't watch that much football. He shows every sign as being a captain of the obvious and sublimely stupid, just like Timmy Mc. Joe Buck shares across sports. He's terrible, all the time. No matter the occaision, you can be sure of a few things. Beer will sponsor. Soda will sponsor. Oh, and Joe Buck will dishonor his hall of fame father, Jack Buck, by sucking. Hardcore. These things I know. And apparently, so does Joe Buck.

Superbowl Extravaganza: LifeWater: It Makes Lizards Fart

They dance to Thriller. They buy "grillz" for their teeth (who knew they had teeth like an omnivorous mammal). And yes, with a sip of SoBe LifeWater, they fart. And not just any fart. It's explosive.

Superbowl Extravaganza: Go Daddy: Our Website is too hot for TV

This is the second or third year of, a site for web domain registration (if you don't understand what that means, don't worry, you're not alone and no one cares), has run an ad that had trouble getting through the Fox censors. This year, they apparently didn't bother. Their ad, directs you to their webpage to look at the ad they would have run if the network executives were replaced by the editors of Maxim.

Come look at the smut and filth that Fox didn't want you to see.

Here's the Ad they wanted to air.

Quick question: What the hell does having sexy crap have to do with registering Internet domain names. This is a process for geeky guys who never see sunlight. The closest they come to a Danica Patrick bosom, is a commercial that Fox won't even let them see on TV. And maybe, that's the point. But, to spend a million dollars to not even show the ad, seems pointless.

On the other hand, maybe most of their business is in registering reality porn sites. In which case, they're talking the lingo of their customers. But badly.