"Oh, he went to Jared!"
"Heeee went to Jared."
and then my favorite, the maitre d'hotel from Transylvania.
"He Went to Jared, muahahaha."
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you would be considered by most of the blogosphere to be lucky. What I'm talking about is Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry's persistent, annoying, catchy and brilliant commercials that everyone seems to hate.
How much do people hate them? While looking for video to share with you, I found five parodies of the spots and reams of hatred spewed, without actually finding a single video of any of the spots, including my favorite, the restaurant proposal announcement.
In your typical Jared spot, some woman is showing off her new rock/rocks. As others fawn over her engagement ring or bracelet, she confides, that he went to Jared. Her friends, her elderly relations, her rivals, her pre-pre-teen relatives, her judges and even the maitre d'hotel at her favorite moderately priced restaurant are all wowed. From the wow factor of these people, with their excited exhalations, jealous sneers, and knowing nods, you would think he bought her the Hope Diamond.
As much scorn as these ads get, I love them. Particularly the one at the restaurant. Think about this. Here is a jewelry store that is basically one step above Kay Jewelers, and that by being in big box looking stores near the mall rather than in the mall. They do not offer merchandise that is clearly superior to what you might find at Blue Nile, or Kay, or any of the mall places. I don't mean to lump Blue Nile in with Jared and the Mall Crawlers (I bought my engagement ring there), but in point of fact, you can drop a nice chunk of change at any jewelry store and get a nice engagement ring. Your dollar tends to go a bit further in terms of your four Cs and your setting when you don't have to pay brick and mortar costs, but you can get a very nice diamond engagement ring at most places, in my shopping experience. When you're doing this calculus, however, you do want to consider the impact that the box will have on your beloved, obviously. Of course, she might just be thrilled to be asked, so there's that. But Blue Nile, it's a very classy box and I don't think anyone has a negative connotation. TV ads and jewelry, I don't think it's a good way to build brand, I guess.
Back to Jared. The average Jared commercial repeats the phrase "He went to Jared" at least four times. The new one, the "Texting Date" commercial, is the low outlier, and my favorite, the "Restaurant," must have 8-10 utterances of the key phrase. If you know anything about building a brand, you know that repetition is key to mental penetration. So, are these effective ads? I need only ask you if you can hum "It can only be Jared," and you have my answer.
In my favorite, the restaurant scene, the couple has an announcement to make. The bride to be flashes her ring, and proudly proclaims the signature phrase, "He went to Jared." It passes down the line of an extremely long table, through relatives of all ages, then to an Asian woman at a booth, who seems more vexed than happy. A note here. There are four emotions that people have when told or when telling of his jeweler of choice.
- Knowing appreciation
I find the last two to be the most interesting responses for Jared to put in their commercial. You have to wonder who is the target of these Jared ads. Is it the woman, who is going to buy her own engagement ring? Perhaps it is the unmarried woman who is going to nag her commitment phobic (I am married) significant other, not only into popping the question, but also into buying her rings from Jared, rather than Tiffany, Blue Nile, Kay or a local operation. If either of these are the case, the envy makes sense. Women, apparently, like to make other women hate them (perhaps someday I will take apart the Quizno's Sammies commercial). Who knew? But, if the target is the commitment phobic boyfriend, as I suspect it is, this is not a selling point. If there's one thing that will reinforce commitment phobia is when your beloved starts talking like she's on a soap opera. And that's where the jealous friend or rival in a Jared commercial is making me think, maybe I should low ball on this a little and go to Kay.
Knowing appreciation is my favorite. The judge in the ballroom dance competition commercial is the truest display of knowledge and respect. His "He went to Jared" says, "Her lover could have blown a lot of money on the Blue Box of Tiffany, but instead, he got all the quality of Harry Winston at a Kay price, indeed, he is the smartest."
The other knowing appreciator is actually my favorite. I've mentioned him at least twice. It is in the restaurant scene. Hearing the Asian woman's catty jealousy, he bursts forth, unsure of what to do for this monumental occasion. Not only has a proposal been made and accepted within a week of this dinner, but the groom to be went to Jared, ferchrissakes. This man, apparently the maitre d' of this restaurant that seems unlikely to have a maitre d', bursts with enthusiasm over not their nuptials but their choice of jeweler. He finds himself, officially, "in a tizzy." I forgot to mention, he seems to be from Transylvania. I guess there was no one with a snooty french accent around. Or perhaps the message is more subtle. People who are impressed with Jared purchases are liable to eat in a restaurant with recent Eastern European immigrants holding key positions on the service staff. I have nothing against recent immigrants, but you have to wonder if these people are celebrating with high class borscht.
After we show some jewelry and bring it back to the blushing bride to be, the vampire waiter pops up with some Transylvanian specialty, which he gesticulates smoothly and hugely over. Look at the windfall. You drop your 3 month's salary at Jared instead of anywhere else and you have immediately won over her entire family, earned the hatred of an anonymous stranger, and impressed the pants off a vampire. Oh, and you scored a free borscht flambe.
Indeed, it could only be Jared.